Briar

Floren | Born 10:42am, 28th September 2022 | 4kg | Home

Due 1st October 2022 | Labour started 39.5 weeks

Briar, Floren + Sage

What was your journey to falling pregnant?

Before undergoing my second surgery to remove a dermoid cyst on my one remaining ovary during lockdown 2020, my partner Sage and I decided we would try IVF in case anything went wrong. My previous surgery on my ovary resulted in my entire ovary being taken out for reasons I'm still unsure of as the surgery was in Germany and I didn't speak enough German!

There were plenty of decisions I wasn’t ready to make yet in my early 20s, like if we managed to get some eggs, would we freeze eggs or embryos? It turns out the cyst was blocking a lot of the view, so it was hard to tell if many eggs were produced during the IVF round. I think I was secretly relieved to not have to go through the harvesting process, but of course nervous for my surgery in case we had the same outcome as last time.

We found out that if they had to take out my entire ovary, it could be frozen and sent to Australia for storage—a decision we luckily didn't have to make, as the surgery was successful and I still have my one ovary.

What was your pregnancy like?

After stopping contraception on my doctor's recommendation, I found out I was pregnant three months later. I was in shock! I cried and laughed for a good 20 minutes, realising just how much life was about to change.

Sage and I were overjoyed—we had always hoped we could conceive, but I had no idea if it would actually happen.

But then, at week 5, I started bleeding. At first, I didn’t worry too much—I had heard stories of other mums bleeding in early pregnancy, and everything turned out fine for them. But the bleeding didn’t stop for nearly a week and got heavier.

Finally, Sage and I went to after-hours care, where I was told, "You are probably having a miscarriage." We cried. We tried to stay positive, but deep down, I thought it was over.

For nearly half a week, I sat in discomfort and sadness, believing we had lost our first little pinprick of a bub.

Then, four days later, my doctor called with unexpected news—my HCG levels were still rising. He wanted to send me for an emergency scan.

Trying not to get too hopeful, we went for the scan—and there was our tiny little peanut shape with a heartbeat!

From then on, I had pretty bad nausea every day. Nothing helped—not even the medications I tried—until I finally took ondansetron in my second trimester.

Luckily, my work was very supportive and allowed me to work flexibly from home or take days off when I needed.

I became addicted to weak miso udon noodle soup—and now I still can’t touch the stuff! I also couldn’t stand the smell of freshly baked bread. Even now, I still find myself opening all the windows and doors if I smell it, just to get the scent out of the house.

The rest of my pregnancy was smooth, apart from the ongoing nausea.

At 38 weeks, I had a scan to check if baby’s shoulders were big enough to get stuck—but no issues there.

Did you have a birth plan? Did you get the birth you hoped for?

Yes, we had a very loose birth plan, and I got the ideal birth I was after!

Originally, Sage was very adamant about a hospital birth—that’s where he was born, and being born premature, he had always associated hospitals with birth.

On the other hand, my mum birthed me at home, so we initially opted for middle ground and planned to go to St George’s birthing unit. I liked the idea of being looked after by midwives and not having to think about things like food or chores at home.

But as time went on, the future of St George’s was looking uncertain, and it started to feel like more effort to get to a birthing unit than to simply stay home.

We decided to stay flexible and see how I felt on the day but to plan for a home birth.

Wherever we ended up, my ideal birth was to keep things as natural as possible and to potentially birth in water.

We kept things loose, making sure that we were both well-informed about all types of interventions and pain relief, in case we needed to make any decisions during labour.

How did labour start? Walk us through your birth experience

I woke up at 2 AM, two days before my due date, with contractions. I breathed through them on my own for a few hours and spent a lot of time in the shower, on my hands and knees, letting the water fall on my lower back.

At 4 AM, I gently woke Sage to let him know what was happening. He helped me put on the TENS machine, but I told him to go back to sleep, as I figured it might be a long journey ahead.

I continued to breathe through contractions, working with the TENS machine to manage the pain.

By 6 AM, contractions were getting more intense. I woke Sage and my mum (who was staying with us) and asked them to inflate and fill the birth pool.

I held off calling my midwife until 7 AM, but by then, contractions were very intense.

I believe I put on a relaxing instrumental playlist—not something I had specially created for birth, but just an old playlist I was familiar with and knew wouldn’t irritate me.

I had also bought gorgeous beeswax candles for the occasion, but of course, I gave birth in daylight!

My midwife arrived at 8 AM, expecting to check in and then head to her clinic. But instead, she called in the second midwife straight away—I was already 9 cm dilated!

I spent a lot of time on the toilet, "cleaning out," and I think I even threw up three times.

I continued breathing through contractions and made it as far as the bed, but I decided that the lovely pool Sage and my mum had set up in the lounge was just too far away—I had no interest in moving!

I think I pushed for two to two and a half hours, with lots of encouragement from my awesome midwife. It felt amazing to just let my body take over from my mind. There was no stopping the pushing once it started with each contraction.

By close to 11 AM, I had a healthy baby boy in my arms!

What was it like meeting your baby for the first time

I remember my midwife laying him on me as soon as he was born, and honestly? I just wanted a break, some me time—and a shower!

I think I was still in shock and pain, so I didn’t have that instant rush of love feeling that some people describe.

One of my first thoughts? Oh no, our son is going to have a funny folded-over ear for his entire life!

I didn’t realise that newborn ears can be folded and then unfold so easily! It completely unfolded within a few days. Funny where the brain goes in those moments.

Once we got him latched on and breastfeeding for the first time, that is when the rush of love hit me—our son.

Those words were so powerful in that moment. It was beautiful to then have Sage do skin-to-skin with him as well.

Did anything funny happen during your birth?

I remember trying to keep a sense of humour throughout labour, which really helped!

How did you find postpartum recovery and the fourth trimester

I was elated! I had so much adrenaline coursing through me for days, and it felt great to feel so light again.

We waved the neighbours to come in, I had immediate family over, and it all felt like a wonderful party!

I think I went too hard too soon with getting out and about.

Next time, I would force myself to only walk up and down my street—not even around the block—because even that was exhausting.

At the start of your antenatal class, you were asked to describe birth in one word. What did you say then, and what would you say now?

I chose the word "pain."

Now, I would definitely say "power."

Would you do anything differently next time?

No :)