Charlotte

What was your journey to falling pregnant?
On my partner Sam’s birthday we discussed starting to try for a baby in 6 months time. We stopped contraception around 5 months later but we weren’t putting any pressure on ourselves to fall pregnant, it would happen when it was meant to. When we found out I was pregnant it was 6.5 months after Sam's birthday.

How did you find out you were pregnant? What was your pregnancy like?

I was house sitting for my friends while they were in hospital welcoming their baby into the world. I’d been feeling off for a few days, just really tired and napping all the time, and not much of an appetite (both very unlike me). I went home to get ready for a friends birthday and thought I would take a pregnancy test just incase as we were supposed to be doing a bottomless brunch. I was only 2 days late for my period but I couldn’t think of any other reason for feeling so off. When I took the test I was expecting it to come back negative so when I looked and saw two pink lines I was hit with a wave of emotions and I started to cry. I went downstairs to see Sam and I showed him the test, he hugged me and I cried again. We went out for our friends birthday brunch and I told my friends that I wasn’t drinking because I was on call incase friends of ours who were having their baby, needed anything brought to them in hospital. I had a pretty smooth start to my pregnancy, no morning sickness just a bit of tiredness but I was also working big hours on night shift in construction. At about 27 weeks I made the decision to move into the office for work due to some back and hip pain, but a pregnancy belt and physio really helped too. At 34 weeks I got Covid-19 and spent two nights in hospital for monitoring and tracing of both Willow and I. I had to have injections in my leg for a week following Covid to make sure I didn’t get blood clots. Then at 35 weeks I noticed my hands and feet were extremely itchy so I made a doctors appointment and found out I had Cholestasis. I had to then have weekly checkups and weekly bloods taken. They evened back out by by 38 weeks so we continued with the recommended 39 weeks for birth.

You had an elective c-section due to a health condition, can you share a bit more about that? Was having a c-section something you knew you would do before getting pregnant or was it a decision you made later on?

I’ve always known that I would have to have an elective Caesarean as I have a health condition called Marfan’s Syndrome which affects all my connective tissue including the heart. This meant throughout my pregnancy I had tracing done on my heart and on Willows heart as there was a 50/50 chance that it could be passed on the her. Because I’ve always known, it wasn’t a big deal to me, I didn’t care how she came into the world as long as she arrived safely and I was also healthy to care for her. Sam has always known that when we decided it was time to have a baby that they would be delivered via C-section and he didn’t have a problem with it as he wanted us both to be happy and healthy.

Did you have an LMC midwife or did you go through an obstetrician for your antenatal care?

I had both. I had the most amazing LMC who came with me to a few obstetrician appointments when she could and she came to the birth and took all the photos - before, during and after. I was already seeing the obstetricians because of my Marfans Syndrome but then when I got Cholestasis I had to continue to see them more regularly.

How did you prepare in the lead up to your birth? It's a slightly different scenario knowing the exact day you will meet your baby! How did that feel? Did you tell many people the date you were booked for or did you keep it to yourself?

I love a plan and a checklist so having a C-section and knowing the exact day Willow would be arriving worked perfectly for me! I made check lists of everything I needed for my hospital bag, the baby bag and a bag for Sam. I did lots of baking, making lactation treats for once I was out of surgery because I knew what day to make them before hand and didn’t have to worry about if she would arrive on the due date or not. On the days leading up to my C-section I wasn’t at all nervous (which is very unlike me) I surprised myself and Sam with how calm I was that morning, I think I was just so excited to meet Willow. We did the Authored C-section course where we learnt lots of things that we otherwise wouldn’t have known. After doing the course we made a list of things that were important to us for the delivery of Willow, we then made a birth plan with our LMC, it felt like the last bit of prep we needed to do and a big relief once everything was written down. We told people what my due date was (19th) and that my surgery would be around then sometime. As soon as we were given our date for the surgery we told our close friends and family only.

What was your birth plan and did you get to have all the things you hoped for?

Our birth plan was pretty simple, we wanted to do delayed cord clamping, microbiome seeding and we also put in there that we didn’t want her to be bathed in hospital as we wanted the microbiome seeding to work it’s magic for as long as possible. The first bath was so special once we got home, we waited two weeks before giving her a bath. I asked for dissolvable stitches to be used which they gave me but they couldn’t guarantee they could use them once we were in theatre. The one thing that we didn’t get to do which was in our birth plan was to have the screen down or a clear screen for the whole surgery so we could see the exact moment when they pulled her out. They didn’t have clear screens and they said they couldn’t have the screen down for the whole surgery as behind the screen where Sam and my head was, was a non sterile area. Once they lowered the screen for us to see her they could only hold her up as the cord was too short for me to hold her while they waited to cut the cord.

Talk us through your birth experience.

Once all the paperwork was done we headed into theatre and I still wasn’t nervous. They put the anaesthetic into my spine and told me to lay down and put my arms out to the side like an aeroplane. Then everything went numb and suddenly I got hit by a wave of emotions, excitement, fear and love. I kept going from balling my eyes out trying to tell Sam I loved him to laughing because my tears kept fogging up my glasses. Then we both started to cry because we got to hear our little girl cry for the first time. They held her up to show us and we couldn’t stop smiling. We had chosen to do delayed cord clamping so we couldn’t hold her straight away. Once the cord was cut they put her on my chest for some skin to skin and she was hungry!! With some help from my midwife we started breastfeeding straight away, it was the best but also the weirdest feeling. They took her to be weighed, wiped over with the swab I had prepared the night before for microbiome seeding and Sam put her first nappy on. They carried her back over so I could see her and Sam had some skin to skin time with her before putting her back on my chest for another feed while I was being stitched up. They put me onto my side and I moved through to recovery where Willow continued to feed and sleep. Our first night was very rough because of the care we received and Sam not being able to stay because we had a shared room. I was left sitting in my own blood for 11 or so hours and Sam ended up having to change my pads and bed sheets, Willow hadn’t fed in 4 hours and I was told that I was starving my baby even though I had tried but no one had actually taught me how to feed once I wasn’t laying down or on my side. After two nights of being on my own and feeling pretty useless we left Christchurch Women’s and went to Rolleston Birth Unit, which was amazing and I can’t recommend them enough!!!

Describe those first moments when you met your baby.

The first few moments were very special. Our perfect little family of three. We instantly fell in love with her!! She was so beautiful and looked so much like Sam. I remember my midwife saying she’d never seen a baby come out via C section and start feeding as quickly as Willow did, which will always be special to me as I really wanted to breastfeed but I know how hard it can be for some mothers, especially after a Cesarean.

What did you find the hardest about your birth? Was there anything that surprised you or that wasn't what you expected?

I didn’t really find any part of my actual birth hard as I had no control over it and I couldn’t feel anything. For me the recovery was the hardest part and feeling so helpless. One thing that really surprised me was that no one told me the side affects of Tramadol, I was feeling mentally numb towards Willow, she would do something new and super cute and Sam would get so excited and I just felt nothing even though I knew I shouldn’t be feeling like that. Now speaking to friends and family they have said I didn’t seem myself when they came and visited me in hospital. When we got home and Willow was about 8 days old I stopped taking all my medication. I wanted to be back in love with my baby which I was after a day or two, I was in a lot of pain but I was back to feeling like myself and falling more in love with my baby everyday.

How did you find postpartum recovery and the fourth trimester?

Postpartum recovery was pretty tough! I had a really bad burning sensation around where my stretch marks are and around my wound whenever I was on my feet and I could never be on my feet for more than two minutes for the first few weeks. I struggled a lot with letting people do things for me but Sam had two months off work so I could rest and recover properly. We had our first family of three Christmas together and it was perfect, very chill as I still wasn’t up to doing much but perfect. Sam's parents came over from England just after Christmas so I had extra support from them along with my parents, which made the fourth trimester a lot easier. Willow made the transition easy as she slept basically through the night from a week old, however now is a different story with four month sleep regression!

At the beginning of the Authored antenatal class you were asked what word you would use to describe birth - what did you say then and how would you describe birth now?

I think I said “ouch” and I still feel the same way. For me birth was a pretty major operation but pain is only temporary and I wouldn’t change it for the world!