Chelsea

Baby was always in our dreams but he surprised us with his timing! Falling pregnant wasn't something we were trying for at the time so we are very blessed that it happened easily for us. We have always talked about a future with children in it and it was something that excited us both. I had been off the pill for two years due to it effecting my mental health and I was tracking my cycle, I had gotten a little lazy and this month was the one month I really questioned when I ovulated, oops!

How did you find out you were pregnant? What was your pregnancy like? 

I knew I was pregnant super early, I just had a gut feeling! Cam and I talked about it when I was suspicious but he didn't really think I would be. I took two pregnancy tests across a couple of days and they were both negative and then a week later I still had this feeling I was, so I did another test with a friend and up popped the two lines, I think I would have been 2-3 weeks at this point! I called Cam immediately while he was at work, I was in complete shock and didn't know what to do at the time, Cam was busy with a workmate so couldn't say much but just reassured me it was all going to be okay and that we would talk through it all as soon as he could get a moment alone, he was the calm in the storm for me in that moment. There was no cute lay out of baby clothes and a secret video of the moment - it was all very emotional and scary at the time! I called my mum after in tears because I was so shocked and unsure about everything and she was super excited and again reassured me we would be okay. I was upset because Cam had plans to study and all I could think was that I was stopping him from pursuing something he really wanted. Cam ended up leaving his job and started working for his dad and is loving the change of pace with his building career. He isn't worried about studying any longer which made all the difference to how I felt about it all!

I was at a friend's getting her ready for her baby shower when I found out so I still did her makeup, stayed for a couple of hours and went home to Cam. Cam was so excited when he saw me and we talked through everything together and decided we were going to be just fine, we talked about how excited we were to tell our family and friends and the nerves started to ease! We told both sets of parents that weekend (they were beyond excited) and then kept our secret for as long as we could until I became sick and it became hard to keep it from those closest to us.

Pregnancy for me was not what I expected it to be at all, it was rough to say the very least, at 6 weeks I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) and spent months in and out of after-hours and hospital on IV fluids and anti nausea. Things started to ease a little around 24 weeks but the vomiting was non stop the whole pregnancy. I was unable to work from 6 weeks pregnant so that added a financial challenge for us also as there is no support from the government for pregnancy related sickness. I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (GD) at 28 weeks after monitoring my blood sugars from home for a week. I was unable to tolerate the regular glucose test so was monitoring myself to get the results, I became insulin dependent meaning, I had to inject insulin in the evenings and monitor my sugars during the days. I was put under extra care through the hospital to have a physician and diabetes midwives to help me navigate this part of pregnancy. The last two months were full on with appointments and extra scans to monitor babies growth. To say pregnancy was hard would be an understatement, it absolutely was not for me and I really struggled through every stage. It is a relief to have Maverick here and to no longer be pregnant!

You had a pretty rough experience with your pregnancy, how did you navigate having hyperemesis and then gestational diabetes?

It truely was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, I would not have gotten through without my biggest support Cameron, he is absolutely incredible and was my rock through it all. Mentally it was really challenging, I reached out to my midwife and Doctor to let them know I was struggling with my mental health and they were able to put things in place for me to have some extra support. Some days I truely felt like I was going to die, I would go 3-4 days without keeping anything at all down, even a sip of water to take my meds would trigger a spew and then I wouldnt be able to stop, landing me back in hospital or after hours. I became a regular and the staff knew me by name. I lost 10kg in the first trimester but thankfully over the coming months I was able to put it back on and more! I looked and felt like a skeleton and had no energy to do anything for myself. Sitting up in bed would make me sick, I couldn't get myself to the toilet or to have a shower, Cam used to shower me after a few days of fluids in hospital, I'd have the energy to stand in the shower while he'd wash me, it truly was just horrific, I have no words for that time of my life. There was no end in sight as they can't tell you when things will ease, you just have to take it day by day, hour by hour. I slept so much through my pregnancy, slept the days away, it was a lonely time, not because I didn't have support but because no one was ever going to understand how I felt or what it was really like to go through what I was dealing with at the time. The doctors and nurses in the hospital and after hours are all angels and were with me through my hardest days, I'll forever be grateful for every individual that helped me through and I wish I could thank them all personally. To be diagnosed with GD was really gutting, it felt like just one thing after the next. Cameron is type 1 diabetic so again he was a huge support for me getting through the hard days and the mental game of injecting myself, he did quite a few injections on the nights I wasn't coping. I have an incredible support system of friends and family who were so understanding and offered to help me as much as they could (it felt like no one could really do anything but the offers of support helped!) I managed to control the GD well with diet and Insulin but it meant I had to birth at Christchurch Womens, which was upsetting as I would have liked to have more choice, I knew it was for the best so they could monitor myself and baby but it was a hard pill to swallow at the time.

Do you have any advice for someone else going through HG?

This is so hard, I feel like in the moment when you're that sick no advice feels helpful because everyone is so helpless and you just have to manage. My best advice is to take each day as it comes, do not blame yourself, surround yourself with your special people, don't be afraid to ask for help, there's so many incredible resources available. Don't question your sickness, this was a big one for me, I questioned myself all the time, am I being dramatic? Do I really need to go to hospital? If you feel unwell enough for fluids go and get them and have someone there to push and advocate for you if you need it! I know I felt guilty and like I was wasting everyone's time getting fluids but you literally need them to survive and they do help! There is a light at the end of the tunnel (the very long tunnel) and you will see it! Don't be afraid to tell people gingernuts wont fix your nausea!

Images by Inview Photography

Did you have a birth plan? What was it and did you get to have the ideal birth you were after?

I was very open to anything happening, everything had been out of my control so far so I knew going into labour and birth there was only so much control I had! I was hopeful for a water birth and spoke to my midwife about these hopes so that was good to have in mind for if it was possible! The physicians weren't keen on me getting in the water because I needed continuous monitoring for my complications but we made it happen and I got to have my dream birth in the pool! I'm so grateful for my midwife advocating for me and allowing me to get in the water with the right equipment to still monitor me safely. It was my absolute dream birth and I couldn't be more grateful for how things turned out.

How did labour start? Walk us through your birth experience.

I had a stretch and sweep Tuesday morning (28th March) I asked my midwife about this and she was more than happy to try, she managed to get one finger into my cervix and could feel baby's head! I had a few little niggles over the next couple of days but nothing major so we booked another for Friday morning at 9.30am (31st March) She could get two fingers into my cervix this time and managed to get a good stretch, I left feeling crampy and when I got home I popped a hot water bottle on my tummy and went to sleep. I woke up around 1.30pm still feeling quite crampy so I called Cam to let him know but I wasn't sure it was labour just yet so said to keep working (he was in Methven an hour away). I spoke to a couple of friends about the pains and they were pretty certain I was in labour but I think I was in denial! I got some washing done, tidied the house a little and things started to get a bit more sore so I called Cam again around 3pm and said it might be time to come home just incase! I was by myself at home and started to feel a little vulnerable so I called my friend Courtney and she came over with her two little girls and sat with me through early labour, she helped with some pressure on my back through the contractions and her girls were the best distraction for me! At this point the contractions were mild and when they stopped I could just sit and chat like nothing had happened, they started to come closer together and get a little stronger so Courtney's partner picked up the girls so she could stay with me until Cam got home. Cam arrived around 5pm and had a haircut booked so I made him go to his appointment, it was just around the corner so I wasn't worried! Courtney stayed with me and my midwife came and did a check, I was 1cm dilated and had a soft cervix so she left and said to call again when I felt I needed her. Cam got home (looking fresh lol) and things ramped up quickly, Courtney left to go home for dinner not knowing she'd end up back for the whole birth! Cam and I managed contractions with a tens machine and then a hot shower, we used up all the hot water so I had to get out and this is when my midwife came back around 8pm. I couldn't talk much in between contractions anymore and was just focusing on my breath, contractions were super close together and quite strong at this point. When my midwife checked me again I was 6cm dilated and ready to go to hospital, we arrived at 9pm and made our way to the birthing room. Courtney was there with us too! I had some gas and lay down on the bed while they got the pool ready, the gas was amazing just to give me a  break from the intense pain to settle a little but I still wasn't chatty, I was ready to get things going! I could feel baby getting ready and said I felt like pushing so I got undressed to get in the pool. I was in the water around 10.15pm, the heat was incredible for the pain and just kept me calm. Cam held my hand as I breathed through the contractions, he helped remind me to blow out slow and long breaths and it really helped. We had cold water and towels for my face and I had some spikey massage balls to grip through the pains. I remember a friend of mine Jaimi telling me “you can do anything for one minute” because thats typically how long a contraction lasts for and I kept reminding myself of that when the contractions got stronger, I would repeat it in my head until the contraction stopped and it was so incredibly powerful, affirmations really do work! Courtney took so many videos and photos and they're so so special! I managed to avoid pain relief while in the water and just focused on my breath. My midwife helped guide me through the pushing letting me know when to slow down and when I could give it a little more, it was extremely helpful because you're in another world in labour and the guidance was exactly what I needed. Once Maverick's head was out I could feel him making those adjustments turning in the birth canal getting ready to make his entrance. It was now when my midwife asked if I wanted to catch him or have Cam help, I asked Cam “are you okay to catch?” he reassured me he was ready and okay, my midwife asked me “are you okay?” and I calming said “yes, I'm okay, I'm getting my water birth.” Courtney was recording this and it's so special to hear myself so calmly saying that and for being so grateful in the moment that things were going how I had always hoped and dreamed! Maverick was born at 11pm on the dot after 40 min of pushing, Cameron caught him and popped him on my chest for some skin to skin.

This is where things got a little scary but honestly in the moment I didn't realise how serious things could have gotten. Maverick didn't make a sound for 1min 30, the midwives stayed so calm but you could hear some urgency in their voices around getting him to respond. They were getting ready to cut the cord and take him to resuss but finally after some good rubs he let out a big cry and it was such a relief!  I stayed in the water and we got to meet our little man for the first time. Meeting him was so surreal, I was in shock for a while because pregnancy had always equaled sickness to me and I struggled to make the connection of pregnancy meaning having my baby so when I went into labour I don't know if I even registered that I was about to meet my son, it was almost just like thank goodness this is almost over! Cam had some skin to skin with Mav while I birthed the placenta, this was a weird feeling and had me quite crampy so I had the injection in my leg to help move things along, it was instant relief once it was out! I was sick twice after birth but haven't been sick again since! The HG has lifted and I feel like a whole new person. Maverick made his entrance with is wee hand up by his face so I needed stitches for a 2nd degree tear, this was totally fine and just hurt a pinch when my midwife did the injection to numb the area. Once I was stitched up I had a shower and I think this is where it hit me that our boy was here, I could see in the reflection of the bathroom mirror Cam getting Maverick dressed for the first time and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, it was so special. We moved to our room for the night and it was such a special time, we hadn't told anyone we were in labour or that he had arrived so it was just us in our little love bubble for the whole night. It was so special, we called our families first thing in the morning on facetime with Maverick in my arms and there were many tears shed! Everyone was so shocked because I had him so early! We also chose not to tell our families our induction date (April 10th) we wanted to go through labour and birth without worrying anyone or having to update anyone or be on our phones and it was the best decision we made. (They knew our due date was April 13th so they were expecting him to be here before then but 38+1 day was earlier than anyone expected!) I would do it all over again tomorrow it was the most empowering and healing experience after everything we've been through and I was just so relieved he was finally here. We are so grateful to have had an unmedicated and uncomplicated birth, it was all I could have dreamed of.

Describe those first moments when you met your baby.   

Absolutely surreal, it felt like a dream. I was in a little shock and I don't think I took it all in for a while but seeing Cam look at him was something I'll never forget, those moments are the most special moments of my life!

We are in a very different head space during birth, was there anything funny you said or any little funny anecdotes from someone else at your birth?

It's crazy the headspace you get into! At one point I said “get him out!!!!” And my midwife calmly said, “no, you are doing to do that”. I also tapped Cams watch to check the time and the crusaders score popped up and he said, “they're winning incase you were wondering” hahaha, his brother was playing in Brisbane so we missed the game! (Sorry Dal was a little preoccupied!)

What did you find the hardest about your birth? Was there anything that surprised you or that wasn't what you expected?

Honestly I can't tell you what the hardest part was because I just feel so empowered by the whole experience, don't get me wrong labour and birth is hard for sure but I loved it! It all happened so quickly so I didn't have much time to think between contractions! I think I didn't even consider him not making noise as soon as he came out so that definitely surprised me but in the moment I wasn't feeling as stressed as I maybe should have been because everyone remained so calm through it all!

Is there anything you would love to do again/do differently next time?

I'd do it all again tomorrow and if I could have done it at home I would have!

How are you finding postpartum recovery and the newborn days so far?

We are in newborn bliss. Maverick is beautiful and we are absolutely obsessed, it doesn't feel real and he doesn't feel real! I tore and needed stitches because the little guy came out with his hand by his face so I am a little tender but it's not as bad as I thought it would be at all! The lack of sleep is something you just manage - I don't know how but you just do, it's incredible how your body adapts to the change! 3 hours of sleep in a row truely feels like a whole night of rest now which is insane! The first week of breastfeeding was a rollercoaster, I had quite damaged nipples and the feeds were toe-curlingly painful, I did lots of hot compress to help heal them but wow what a ride that was, thankfully they've almost completely healed now and just the latch is tender but once he's away it is just magic. It's been such a special way to bond with my wee man after been so worried about making a connection with him and whether we would bond or not after the mental toll my pregnancy had on me. He is thankfully feeding well, gaining weight and sleeping well too! We have a content wee new born on our hands! It is a love like no other looking at your baby and the love you have for your partner goes through the roof, there is nothing more special than seeing Cameron bond with our little man. I am so proud of us and everything we have been through over the last 9 months, it hasn't been easy for either of us and Cam stuck by me through the hardest days of my life without any complaints. The poor guy heard “I feel nauseous” 50 times a day for 9 months straight and still didn't get sick of me! We call him Saint Cam because he has the patience of a saint and I couldn't be anymore grateful to have him by my side. Maverick and I are beyond blessed, there is just so much gratitude in this household!

At the beginning of the Authored antenatal class you were asked what word you would use to describe birth - what did you say then and how would you describe birth now?

I said “scared” and now I would say empowered, my birth healed me 🤍

Anything else you'd like to add?

I'd like to mention how grateful we are for the way our labour and birth turned out and we know that this is not how it goes for many people. Women are absolute super hero's no matter how your birth goes or how you choose to birth, what our bodies are capable of is mind blowing and we should all be proud of how our babies made their entrance into this world 🤍 Ps tell your midwife how grateful you are for them, we could not have done this without Ashley and her student midwife, Toni's support, they are angels and we will never forget what they did for us.

As someone who had an almost identical pregnancy experience this story hit home for me! Thank you Chelsea for sharing so much of your journey with us. I'm so happy that you got your dream birth after the tough pregnancy you endured. X